Still hanging in there!

2 cardio sessions today. We got up and cleaned and tidied the house for the inspection, and I did one cardio before taking Rexy to mum's. Mum and I then went to Gloria Jeans for a coffee and then did some grocery shopping. I then collected Rex from under the bed, and brought him home to 'safety'. I had something to eat, did a bit of work, and then needed a sleep. I slept for about an hour. Woke, had my first black coffee for this prep, and then did my 2nd cardio. I have started to ask myself why I am doing a comp in the middle of winter!!! Usually I do October shows, so it's starting to warm up a little by this stage. Posing in tiny costumes is not very fun when your bits are freezing.

I just finished my steak - yum, can have steak 3 x week instead of my salmon now so that was a nice change. I am missing my bigger protein portions!! Now cooking up my veggies and that will be it for the night.

I had someone email and ask how 'selfish' you really have to be in this sport. It truly is a 'selfish' sport. You just have to be, or you won’t make it. For instance, in the final 4 weeks, it gets really tough. Low calories, training 2-3 x day, always hungry, tired – you just don’t have the energy to DO anything much else but train, and you are constantly wanting to eat so you are always fighting the urge. You can’t wait to go to sleep so you don’t have to think about food :) Then you get up and do it all again the next day. I have certainly found there are easier days than others. But there are days that you have to fight with every fibre in your body. You can imagine all of the above if you are having a bad day ie 'starving', exhausted, stressed, cravings - how easily it would be to just say 'this is way too hard'. You can’t go anywhere, even out for dinner, not only because you don't know what you will get (even if you order plain fish and steamed veg), but because the temptation can be too much ie sitting waiting for your ‘specially prepared’ meal, watching others eat bread rolls and drinking wine while you are absolutely starving and drinking water. It’s no fun! So its much easier to become a hermit at this stage of prep and stay away from any temptation. I am sure Damien would love it if I didn’t do any more comps but of course he would never say that - he is supportive of my competing. We used to go out for dinner quite a bit, well that just doesn’t happen now and I know he misses that. As do I :) BUT, I love the discipline required - I know there are not many people that can muster the will and determination, the focus and committment, to see through a goal such as getting on stage. To accomplish this means so much, it is such a powerful feeling inside, to know I have not sucumbed to the 'easy way out'. I'm not there yet, but I will be :)

Veggies are ready!